03 March 2013

Why Is Dathan So Mean?

You have no idea how many people tell me that I'm too mean. They say I need to lighten up, be sweet, and show the love of God. I'm writing this post for them. Instead of trying to explain to each person why I'm so harsh at times, I thought I'd explain myself a little more.
Wanna-be mean-mugging Dathan.

Most of you don't know me, but I used to be this passive, introvert, little sissy boy. I was full of fear and too scared to stand up for myself. I had no real confidence. Actually, I had no confidence at all. I tried faking it like all the other guys, but I couldn't even do that right.

Growing up, I was never encouraged. Sure my mom would sit in the bleachers screaming for me every time I did something good on the baseball field, but every kid knows that's just mom going crazy for her son. I never really had anyone invest in me. Teachers never seemed to care either. I was a good kid in school, but didn't excel in grades or have any special talent. If you're not one of these, and you're not the bad kid screaming for attention, then you're lost in the system.

Plus, church provided no help.

What they teach in church is doom and gloom that leads to a long spiritual death. We will all be judged for anything we do wrong and there is no real hope unless we believe in Jesus. But, I couldn't even believe right. I would be confused or doubt something I didn't understand, but a real Christian would never doubt Jesus (Mat 21:21). And, the author of confusion is Satan, right (1 Cor 14:33)? I was in for a world of hurt.

I couldn't be honest about my faith for fear of losing it.

The other thing that's required in church is that you must have good fruit.

One of the most important fruits of the Christian faith is humbleness. Every good Christian knows that you can't be a true believer without being loving, meek, and humble towards others. Your fruit has to really show that you know Love. Of course, Love is always honey words, sweet nothings, and kindness. Responses like anger, rudeness, and harsh words show that you're still struggling and a sign that you need help. Every Christian knows that you can't be a mean and angry person and still love Jesus (Mat 5:21-22, Psa 37:8). The two just don't go together.

This was exactly the type person I was. I was always nice, polite, and would never say or do anything to hurt anyone (Mat 5:9).

So, what happened to Dathan? What turned him into this new, ugly mean person??

I met Jesus.

No, not Satan or demons. I met the real Jesus.

Let me explain.

God started investing in me. He started showing me who I really was. He said things that left me dumbfounded and showed me visions and images of what he saw in me. He even gave me a new name; a name that would make anyone else jealous. I started seeing myself from his point of view. Sometimes I'd break down and cry because it was just too good to be true. How could my Father see me this way?! I'm a nobody.

No one had ever loved me, or loved on me, as much as he did. I could literally feel his love penetrating my bones and soul. He quickly became my Source and my Rock (2 Sam 22:1-3). And, because I had no confidence, I believed every Word he said (Mat 4:1-4). I soaked up every Word like a sponge. I couldn't help it. No one ever encouraged me the way he did. Not even close.

I was transforming (Rom 12:2). I was becoming a new and totally different person. I quickly learned I wasn't of this world and there was nothing that could hold me back.

Many people developed several other ideas of why I'm so different.

The 3 most popular excuses made for me are:
  1. Dathan can't handle criticism from those that don't 100% agree with him.
  2. Dathan was badly burned and hurt by a church or individual in the Christian faith.
  3. Dathan has no accountability or leadership to guide him in his walk.
All of these are false judgments. None of them are true. And, I'll give you one guess as to who's doing the judging. That's right! Christians.

For one, to think I have a problem with people who don't 100% agree with me is ridiculous. Do you think they agree 98%? This is not the case. The people who are rude to me agree with me 0%. These Christians call me a false prophet, evil, demon-possessed, Satanic, hateful, hearing demons, bitter, hurt, angry, unloving etc. They say it would be better that I tie a noose around my neck and drown myself in the sea (Mat 18:6). They say that I'm like Judas and deserve hell. Then, they claim they have to judge me because God has commanded them to (Gal 1:6-9). Does any of this sound familiar? Does any of this sound like anyone that Jesus had to deal with back in his day (Mat 12:22-28)?

Secondly, I'll admit that I haven't had the best of times in churches or with other Christian organizations. Sometimes it was amazing! And, sometimes it was hell. However, I was never truly hurt or burned so badly as to become this mega jerk that people make me out to be. In fact, most pastors and leaders didn't know what to think of me. I was just too "good" to be true.

Thirdly, show me in the Bible where it talks about having accountability partners. Also, show me where it says to place yourself under some kind of church or Christian leadership. These "commands" are just assumed and preached as Law. However, this is not what God tells us. I am not an ambassador of a church, pastor, or religious organization. I am an ambassador of Christ (2 Cor 5:20-21). Period. I am the church (1 Cor 6:19-20). God is my authority and he is the one I choose to solely represent. It's always been this way and it's the way it should be. I do not follow some ordained pastor that thinks he knows Jesus.

Also, I'm doing things that no one else is. I'm making videos, writing blogs, and delivering a message that goes against everything, everyone has always been taught in the Christian world. And, frankly, you aren't. Most people just sit back and watch. They wait to see what others say for fear of being wrong or looking stupid. Well, obviously I'm not afraid to be wrong or look stupid. I just say what needs to be said and do my best to explain.

You need to put yourself in my shoes before you try to convince me of not being sweet or loving enough.
The whole family is behind me.
The world is a very persecuting place to share the real Truth about Jesus. I've even been threatened by some of the most beloved pastors people know. And, I usually respond the way I feel is necessary.

After all, I'm not here to make friends. Honestly, I'm here to make enemies. Jesus didn't come to bring peace, but to bring a sword (Mat 10:34-36). I'm also here to bring a sword. He was here to share the love of his Father and so am I. Sometimes showing love is calling people names, breaking people's stuff, condemning them to Gehenna, making them fall down, belittling them, using sarcasm to prove a point, calling someone a child of Satan, and provoking people to so much anger that they want to stone and crucify you. All of which Jesus did.

However, when I do the same thing, I'm the bad one. You tell me to follow Jesus, but I can't call people out on their unbelief? I'm the one that needs to be more pleasant and understanding? How can I not be more understanding?? I know EXACTLY how these Christians feel and what they're thinking, but they refuse to listen to me. And, I get in trouble for it.

Finally, I'm on a mission. I'm on a mission to share the love and truth about Jesus and how good God is. And, if there is anyone that says, or even believes, someone is not forgiven, condemns people of their sins, or judges them to the eternal lake of fire, then you are my enemy.

Love does not look pleasant when it's challenged. Love does not play nice when you try to hurt his people. However, Love will always forgive and will always die for you in the end (Luke 23:34).


Robert said...

lok man, you think growing up for m was easy? I was considered gay in Jr High because I couldn't play a sport, then! omygsh I was a follower of Christ too?? Yeah that got me many enemies, but I was never ashamed of it, as I know you are not either. You were trully one of the greatest friends I had in Youth Group. You were the Big Brother I always imagined John would have been *the brother I lost at infancy* I just want you to understand that not everyone is going to go along with what you say, and thats not a bad thing either.

We are all given the ability to think, a true gift of God, and we all need to understand that we are not going to think the same way all the time. But I see you getting mad at people for not going along with every word you say, and its like "ok, only you have the right to think?"

All I want you to know is that your not going to get the approval of everyone who reads your blogs, and there is nothing wrong with that. You need to respect the opinions of others and understand that just because they don't agree, does not mean they don't like you.

Dathan Ellis said...

I know it was hard for you in Jr. High. I even saw how the kids in church would pick on you and I was still too chicken to do anything about it then. However, that's all changed. I consider it a high honor that you claim me as your Big Brother. I don't take that lightly and I love you too bro.

I know that pretty much no one will agree with me and they won't approve of me either. I get that. However, I HATE it when people say or even just think/believe that people aren't forgiven. I will not sit idly by while people condemn others of their sin, claim they're unforgiven, and judge them to hell.

I want you to know that these Christians are judging me and condemning me also. They say they know me and try to use fear to get me to quit writing or talking. They are saying that I'm a false prophet, demon-possessed, like Judas, or will be sent to hell. Frankly, no one is telling you things like this. They hate the fact that I believe all sin is forgiven. They want me to stop sharing this Truth. The people in Jesus' day wanted him to shut up too, but he would just make them more mad and give them hell. However, Dathan can't do the same because he's not the Son of God. But WWJD. However, I still forgive them and would gladly die for them. Because that's what Love does.

Hope Brady said...

Dathan- Your posts never cease to amaze me! I love how you said that the people that call you all sorts of things are "Christians". That's what's wrong with the world today. There's to much of going on!! "Christians" need to get more of a relationship with God than a religion with him and then maybe, just maybe they will see things the way that they are! I'm proud of you for standing up for what you believe in-even if it means sometimes feeling like you're standing alone. :)

Dathan Ellis said...

Thank you Hope! I agree...Christians are so blind to a false God that they don't know when they see the real one. The people that crucified Jesus and his people are no different from the ones today. They all went to church, said all the right things, and acted like they had their act together. Nothing's changed.

Leah said...

I feel like this is a plea for sympathy, and not really the truth. You have always been supported and encouraged ALL your life. You were just enabled, and that's my fault. Instead of always sticking up for you your entire life, I should've let you learn to fight your own battles. But because I respected and looked up to you SO MUCH (and wished I could be like you)it was really hard to see you hurt, especially when I knew your heart and I never thought you deserved it. In turn you have learned to sit back and let other people "kill with their words". And now, because I will not and cannot defend you anymore, you have new people who "kill" for you. Sometimes I yell at the computer "BE A MAN, TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO SHUT UP AND YOU HANDLE IT!"

You tell me that you want people to think your crazy because it "makes them think" but in reality they have not only dismissed you, they have written you off. If someone is truly truly trying to pour truth and love and understanding into you, as many have, and you come after them with sarcasm and hostility, not only will they get defensive, they usually will stop listening to what you have to say. There's an old saying, you attract more bee's with honey than with vinager. How many times have I heard from you to "BE SWEET"? You even got your friends to say "B.S." to remind me! I think your bad attitude and anger comes from your unhappiness. Not only your unhappiness with the church, and girls, but your friends and the quality of your friends or really lack of quality. The worst thing about FB and blogs is people cannot hear your tone. Even when you think your not, you can come accross as "MEAN"! I see it all the time on your FB posts. I know that one day you will figure it out, one day. One day you will find the REAL way to make people listen and make people WANT to read and watch. It reminds me of that song we sang when we were kids "He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be, it took him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and jupiter and mars, how LOVING and PATIENT he MUST be, HE'S STILL WORKING ON ME! You should be funny. People LOVE funny and people will listen to funny. Sure it'll be a lot harder than being ugly, but people would probably really start to listen.

After you have watched me over the past 2 years, the change in my heart, my actions, my habits, my addictions, and so much more, I would think you'd be thankful for the church and it's leaders. Because I would not be here without them. It's because of LOVE that I am here. And not the love that you discribed, but REAL love. Love that is patient and kind...you know the rest...It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I LOVE YOU. More than you realize. I get so tired of people askeing me "what's wrong with your brother?" "what happened to Dathan?" "why is Dathan so mad at the church?"...I want to be able to be proud of you again. To be able to tell my friends to listen to you. To trust what you say.

I want you to understand my tone....this is from my heart...no sarcasm, no yelling, just love...and an attempt at understanding. I still believe that amazing things are in your future...but anger, sarcasm, and bullying behavior is not YOU. It's time to start listening to the people that you know love you, like me and mom, and Lana and hundreds of other people that have said the same thing over and over again. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...it's not Jesus...it's a duck (and that was my attempt at humor).

Dathan Ellis said...

Finally, a post that gets enough of my sister's attention to leave feedback.

I'm not pleaing for sympathy, but what I do see is a sister pleaing her brother to wake up and snap out of it. You have purposely distanced yourself from me and I get that. Jesus' family thought he was crazy too and wanted him to chill out (Mark 3:20-35). You also feel personally attacked because you're still very much apart of the same church that taught the doom and gloom I spoke of growing up.

Like I said in this post, I'm not here to make friends. I'm not here to be all honey and sweet to people who condemn sinners and judge them to hell. This is exactly what 99% of Christians preach. They are my enemy. They preach Love, but turn around and throw stones and condemn you of your sins. My God nailed all sin to the cross. Period.

You said, "...I want to be able to be proud of you again." And, hopefully, one day you'll be proud of me. Just know that I'm proud of you even though you don't believe in me and vehemently disagree with what I say. Also, you need to leave my friends out of this. They know my heart, are proud of me, and want to be around me. And, I love them too.

Leah said...

You always have my attention, and I'm only a phone call away. I distanced myself from you because you hurt me and I was tired of always being hurt by you, so I decided it was better to not be around you anymore. It worked! And it was a way that God showed me to trust him, it was a win win. And Jesus' family may have thought he was crazy (I don't know and I'm not going to look up bible verses just because you post them! If you want me to know what it says you'll copy and paste. You're not Tim Tebow!), but we don't think you're crazy. I think you're ACTING like you're crazy because you want people to give you attention. And you're right, you have the exact people around you that you've been longing for, and for once they're not just girls that are in love with you, well, most of them anyway. People are in your life for a season...and thankfully, spring is right around the corner.

Thank you for being proud of me and I'm sorry my standards are not as low as yours, I know you..you can do BETTER. I'll be patient and wait.

Dathan Ellis said...

You've come in loud and clear. It's time you see your way out.

Anonymous said...

If the righteous scarcely be saved,where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? According to you every one is going to heaven.For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous,and his ears are open unto their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.We give our children consequences if they don't obey .And there's no doubt in my mind My heavenly Father will do the same to me .For whom he loves he chastise.I will be praying for you and the families you are ministering to.

Dathan Ellis said...

Evil people - those that condemn sinners of their sin, judge them to hell, quote scripture at them, go to church regularly, say all the right things, wear all the right clothes, look like they have their stuff together, follow all the rules, offer sacrifices of praise, serve others to show they love, give monetary sacrifices, make people conform to their rules, withhold love from others when they fall out of line, save those that Jesus has already saved...and claim that God is their best friend when they have no clue what he sounds like.

My sheep know my voice. Pray hard.

Pippy said...

bam! you did it again...

Love this post. I have experienced enough of what you mentioned in your post that it resonated with me.

Jesus wasn't as kind to the 'law-abiding' Jews of the time as he could of been. Calling a group of individuals a 'brood of vipers' was akin to cussing them out.

And Paul...well, Paul got heated ALL the time. I guess my point is, it's hard NOT to say something when you see people striving for heaven. When you watch others claw and scratch, trying to get ahead through begging prayers, or tired rituals. It's hard to not shake them and show them truth.

I have been called a false prophet myself, and have been treated terribly by 'leaders' in the church. I have been told in leader meeting to NOT mention 'my new found enlightenment on Grace' so as to not OFFEND some in the church.

And, I understand about making people think for themselves...

We are saved, loved, healed, favored, blessed, and Holy. We have HIS Mind in us, and we are part Him. I AM TOO. I can heal, I can create, I can love and I can be angry when I need to be.

Heather :)

Dathan Ellis said...

Heather, I get it all the time. Don't let those church leaders/members keep you down. Actually, just stop going altogether. You're light years ahead of them anyway.

I stopped going to church about a year ago and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. You don't have to keep listening to all their trash and lies they preach. I can't stand to hear it now. It hurts my ears. I share the real Truth other ways.

You're not alone. Do and say what you need to. God's given you that liberty because you actually know him.