25 March 2012

What A Girl Wants

This post is more for the fellas than it is for the ladies. However, if you girls want to read and chime in, that's quite alright with me. ~:-)

not-to-mess-with

Why do women seem to find non-Christian men, who are jerks, more appealing? Because the men seem to exude confidence. Honestly, girls usually find us more attractive in our sin, then when we become Christians. Why? Because most Christian men are sissies.

Girls are looking for a man who is strong and confident. However, what they usually find is mostly fake. They know what they're searching for, but they haven't quite found it. They keep searching for something real, but they haven't seen many good examples. However, that's all about to change when they see the man you're about to become.

Not too long ago I went to a church at a Christian-based drug and alcohol rehab center for men (about 45 mins from my house). As soon as I stepped into the place, I knew it was where I needed to be. I learned so much about God's love and grace. I found the freedom to be myself and grow.

These men abused their bodies with drugs and alcohol, and had a seriously rough past. They'd been in bike gangs, street gangs, and more. They all had tattoos. Some had scars for days from needles, knives, and bullets. It also seemed like each one was about 3 times my size in pure muscle. Some were taller than me. Sure, some were smaller, but it's always those little guys (complex) you gotta look out for. Basically, these dudes had seen it all and done it all. They'd been to the pit of hell and back, literally. They'd experienced death on a daily basis. They were unafraid of anything and anyone. They're what I call not-to-mess-with. These were real men.

However, even though these men had been through so much, they'd discovered the love of Jesus. They soon found God's amazing grace. These guys had scars on their bodies from whatever happened and, yet, the biggest smiles you'd ever seen. They gave up and gave their hearts to God. Something was different about them. These hard-as-nails guys were so rough on the outside and yet such softies on the inside. Jesus had flipped their world upside down and now they were truly living free.

This is when it hit me! Like a lightbulb, I discovered what women were truly looking for from a man. They're looking for...Jesus. Ok, I know that's dumb and so obvious, but hear me out. Jesus had all the strength and confidence a man could ever have and none of it came from him. His confidence was in his Father. He only did what he saw his Father doing and he knew him better than anyone on earth (John 5:19). Jesus could have squashed anyone, any devil, or any churchy boy like an ant if he wanted to. He walked around with such boldness and royalty that people were simply afraid to resist him alone (Mat 26:47-56). They always had to bring a pack to talk smack.

Everywhere Jesus went, people watched, then listened. Basically, Jesus was the man. Not because of his choosing, but because of what his Father chose for him. His Father taught him what he was made of and revealed to him his plans. Because he knew his Father so well, Jesus had no fear. He walked around with his chest out, head up, and wasn't afraid of anyone. What could man do to him anyway...obviously, nothing without his permission (Heb 13:6). What I learned was Jesus was not-to-mess-with.

What a woman wants is a man like Jesus; a man with real confidence. I'm not talking about the fake confidence you always see. These posers may look like they have everything together (and it may seem like they do), but they're just frail little pups with no power or authority. And, so many of them are in church. Fellas, you seriously need to know who you are in Jesus. You should have a confidence that can only come from knowing the heart of the Father. The confidence and strength to know who a man is in Christ. To know that he is a king and son of God (1 John 3:1-3); who knows his seed produces warriors and heroes (Gen 6:4); who knows everything he touches and everywhere he walks is blessed because he simply walked in the room. He knows nothing can touch him, hurt him, or hurt his family because of who his Father is (Heb 13:6). He is not affected by the world or anything bad that happens. He only sees obstacles as a way to make him stronger and more powerful in Jesus. A real man's weakness is just more room for Jesus to perform even greater miracles (2 Cor 12:9). This man walks with his chest out and head high as if 50 angels are following him wherever he goes. He has the tattoos of Christ's name inked all over his body. Yet, you don't get this confidence on your own terms or through any work you do.  This confidence comes from knowing him. This comes by resting and accepting what Jesus did for you (Heb 3:7-4:13). You need to KNOW this. This type of man is not-to-mess-with. And, you're that man.

How you should see yourself (Goku).
When you walk into a room, everyone's spirit jumps, and people turn around because Jesus' presence just arrived (1 Cor 6:19-20). You are a man that carries the Holy Spirit with you wherever you go. This Spirit that is in you raised Jesus from the dead and glorified him on the throne next to the King (Rom 8:11). The blood that flows through your veins is now the healing blood of Jesus. You are no longer the man you see in the mirror. You are now a son of God. You are royalty. You are a king of the earth and heir to his throne. You are holy, righteous, and all powerful; not because of anything you did, but because Jesus did it all (1 Pet 2:9). Your Father owns everything and you're apart of his family.

Jesus knew who his Father was. If he saw his Father healing, he healed too. If he saw his Father loving, he loved. If he saw his Father blessing, he blessed. A man only knows what to do by carefully watching someone greater. Jesus spent so much time with God (everywhere he went) that only goodness, love, and mercy flowed out of him. On the outside Jesus was as an unstoppable beast. On the inside, Jesus was a soft squishy heart of love. His heart loved and reached out with kindness for God's people.

This is your domain and God has blessed you with more power and love than you can imagine. However, he wants you to have the confidence in him and learn to love like he does. You can only do this by getting to know him. This is the man he wants you to be. He wants you to know you have a not-to-mess-with outer shell, but you also have a soft, squishy center. This is what a girl wants.

I'm not saying be arrogant or prideful. I'm not saying boast about how awesome you are, now. I'm only saying know who you are in Christ and boast about him. This is what a real man does. Walk around with confidence and pride in your Father. Know that you're invincible. This is true confidence.

Jesus knew who his Father was. It's time you did too.

28 comments :

Anonymous said...

This is stupid! You have no idea what a woman wants because you can't even get one. If this were true you would've been married a long time ago. And confidence may be one of the MANY reasons women are attracted to men, but far from THE reason. Stop trying to waste your time figuring out what women want and spend more time trying to figure out what God really wants you to say in these posts instead of the Baptist rederick you seem to be learning at Grace Point Cult. READ THE BIBLE!!!

Dathan Ellis said...

I did not learn this from any church. Jesus taught me this. No man knows this on his own - only Jesus reveals these truths. But, you're right. What do I know? Please leave Grace Point out of this btw. I don't go there. Thanks for commenting though! I love you!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry I was incorrect, I meant Grace Life Cult!

Dathan Ellis said...

Haha! You know how people say, or have those shirts, that read, "I love my church!" I should make one that says, "I love my cult!" Btw, Jesus loves you too.

Phil Bevilacqua said...

Baptist rederick you seem to be learning at Grace Point Cult. READ THE BIBLE!!!
thats so funny i almost spit my drink out all over the computer... thats a good one, i will put that down in my notes

Anonymous said...

LOVE? I would never have guessed that with all you postings...you're God sounds very judgemental and has a whole lot of rules. My God shows LOVE and MERCY not just grace. You should read about him sometime...he's mentioned a lot in the Bible.

Anonymous said...

You're supposed to be a leader...held by God to a higher standard...did you forget?

Phil Bevilacqua said...

forget what? must have missed something here... i let God live His standards through me each day and its Glorious!!!! Gal 2:20! i didn't see anyone else hiding behind anonymous and calling out cults or calling people stupid??? may God bless you richly in all things... how will they know we are Jesus disciples??? because we love people... Jn 13:35 since your local ,anytime you want to sit down for coffee we can look over the Bible and share our points....

Buffey Bobbitt said...

As a girl- last time I checked - I would say Dathan is spot on!! A man who knows who he is in Christ and with a confidence and boldness. A sense of humor helps too. :-)

Drew said...

I'm not exactly sure Anonymous is reading the same postings I am. If anything I think the message here is that God is NOT condemning of those who believe in His son. We should be free, bold, and confident in that promise. The point is that all the rules of the law are satisfied in Christ's sacrifice. We are no longer to be burdened by them. I see no 'rhetoric' here, just a bold observation that obviously comes from a place of conviction, humility, and a desire to understand truth.

Anonymous said...

super saiyan = epic visual description

Leigh said...

I'm so thankful for this post Dathan! It's one of the best ones you've posted yet! Young men really need to hear a message like this. You are absolutely right. Women want confidence, not conceit! Thank you so much for sharing your revelation.

Thank you also for understanding that we, ladies, are not objects to be obtained. You don't "get" a woman. The idea that men still consider "getting a woman" a badge of honor is offensive. Thank you for being a sweet, loving and CONFIDENT man of God. Thank you for knowing that your ability to find women has nothing to do with who you are and thank you for being true to yourself.

Jesus Himself discussed the very thing that's happened right here in our faces. You've sown seed and the enemy was fast to try to steal it. It's okay though. Truth will prevail.

Love you! Leigh

Dathan Ellis said...

Super Saiyan 3 - one for each of Him ~:-)

Dathan Ellis said...

I'll sit down for coffee.

Dathan Ellis said...

Thanks Buffey! It also helps if the girl has a sense of humor too. Just wait until I write about women. ~;-)

Dathan Ellis said...

Certainly conviction. The Spirit is convicting us of our righteousness in Jesus.

Dathan Ellis said...

Thank you so much Leigh! This message is actually for all men of any age. Do you know how many husbands and older men don't know who they are in Christ? Most of them.

Phil Bevilacqua said...

let me know when..

The Bean said...

I feel blessed to have found such a confident, Christian man who knows who he is and leads his family by example in the name of our Father. Great post Dathan!

Caitlin Elizabeth said...

I think you nailed it Dathan. Bold confidence yet humble. Strong yet loving. Buffey was right, humor is in there too.

It is the confidence of the bad boy that lures the Christian girl in. By my observations, it is usually the bad boy who is willing to approach a girl or try to woo her. (usually for all the wrong reasons) But, as girls, we are made to respond to being pursued.

The Bean said...

Interesting...I posted a comment yesterday but it's not on here...

Dathan Ellis said...

I'm sorry. I didn't delete it. Write it again?

Dathan Ellis said...

It's sad when the bad boys have more confidence than the Christian men. Sadly, I know. ~:-(

Hannah said...

OMG Dathan your responses to Anonymous inspire me. You are a man of great patience :)lol. Thank God for His grace, AND mercy, AND love, AND peace, AND righteousness. Who says grace is ALL there is to God?

Dude I totally agree with everything you've said here. Love it ALL! As a 17 year old girl, I am on the look out for guys who KNOW their place, who have the courage to lead, not because of their ability but because of the wisdom they are tapped into via the holy ghost.

I'm tempted to send this to my boyfriend lol :D

Dathan Ellis said...

Haha! I don't know about the patience. I just happened to have it this time, thank God. And, you should send it to your bf. He needs it, not you. ~;-)

Anonymous said...

Dathan, you got that perfectly. When I get married, I want a man just like you described. And it's amazing how God speaks to you like how He does.... you are truly God's son.

Anonymous said...

Dathan, you got that perfectly. When I get married, I want a man just like you described. And it's amazing how God speaks to you... you are truly God's son.

Dathan Ellis said...

Being a true son of God is probably the best compliment anyone could give. Thank you! ~:-D